How to Start Your 'Letters to My Child' Journal (Even If You're Not a Writer)

"I'm not good with words."

"I don't know what to write."

"I'll never keep up with it consistently."

 

These are the most common hesitations I hear from parents when I suggest starting a letters journal for their child. As a devoted journaler myself, I understand these concerns—the blank page can be intimidating, especially when you're creating something meant to last a lifetime.

 

But here's the truth: creating a meaningful letters journal doesn't require being a talented writer, having unlimited time, or maintaining a rigid schedule. It simply requires genuine intention and a practical approach that works with your real life.

 

This guide will help you start—and maintain—a letters journal that will become one of your child's most treasured possessions, regardless of your writing ability or busy schedule.

Setting Yourself Up for Success

Choose the Right Journal

The journal itself matters more than you might think. Look for:

• Durability: This is something meant to last decades, so quality construction is essential.
• Dedicated purpose: A journal specifically designed for letters to your child helps maintain focus and provides the right mental framework each time you open it.
• Sufficient space: Make sure there's enough room to write comfortably without feeling constrained.
• Visual appeal: A beautiful journal is more likely to be displayed, preserved, and valued as the keepsake it is.

Create a Realistic Schedule

One of the quickest ways to abandon any journaling practice is to set unrealistic expectations. Rather than committing to write daily or even weekly, consider:

• Milestone-based entries: Writing on birthdays, first/last days of school, after significant life events
• Seasonal check-ins: Writing at the beginning of each season (4 times per year)
• Monthly quick notes: Setting a reminder for a specific day each month
• Spontaneous approach: Keeping the journal accessible and writing when inspiration strikes

 

The goal isn't volume or perfect consistency—it's creating a meaningful record over time. Even just 3-4 thoughtful entries per year will create a remarkable legacy after a decade.

What to Write When You "Don't Know What to Write"

Many parents freeze when facing the blank page because they feel pressure to write something profound or poetic. Instead, try these practical starting points:

1. The "I Notice" Entry

Simply start with "I notice that you..." and document something you've observed about your child recently:

• A behavior pattern
• A preference or interest
• A skill they're developing
• A personality trait becoming more pronounced
• A change in their perspective or understanding

 

Example: "I notice that you've started creating elaborate backstories for all your stuffed animals. Each one has a name, personality, and relationships with the others. Your imagination amazes me—the worlds you create are so detailed and consistent."

2. The "Remember When" Entry

Document a recent experience while it's fresh:

• A family outing
• A challenging situation they navigated
• Something funny they said or did
• A milestone or achievement
• An ordinary day that exemplifies this stage of life

 

Example: "Remember when we went camping last weekend and it rained all night? While Dad and I were worrying about leaks in the tent, you were delighted by the sound of raindrops and kept saying it was 'nature's lullaby.' Your ability to find joy in unexpected situations continues to teach me so much."

3. The "I Wonder" Entry

Share your thoughts about their future or developing identity:

• Questions about who they might become
• Qualities you see emerging
• How a current interest might evolve
• What you're curious to discover about them as they grow

 

Example: "I wonder if your love of collecting and organizing things will remain part of who you are as you grow. Today I watched you arrange your rock collection by size, then color, then type—completely absorbed in creating order. I see this attention to detail in so many areas of your life already."

4. The "Behind the Scenes" Entry

Share your perspective on a parenting decision or family situation:

• Why you made a particular choice
• What you were thinking during a significant moment
• Challenges you're navigating as a parent
• Values guiding your approach

 

Example: "Today we told you we're moving to a new house. What you don't yet understand is that we've spent months making this decision, weighing how it will affect your schooling, our family routines, and our financial future. We chose this specific neighborhood because we believe it will offer you more opportunities to explore your interests in nature and science."

5. The "Time Capsule" Entry

Create a snapshot of current life:

• Your child's current favorites (foods, activities, friends, books)
• Common phrases they use
• Daily routines
• What makes them laugh, cry, wonder
• How they interact with family members

 

Example: "A snapshot of you at age four: You insist on wearing your firefighter costume at least three days a week. You say 'actually' at the beginning of most sentences. You're afraid of the neighbor's friendly dog but fearlessly climb to the top of the tallest playground structures. Your favorite food is 'anything with cheese,' and you still call spaghetti 'pasketti.'"

Practical Tips for Non-Writers

If you still feel intimidated by writing, try these approaches:

Use Bullet Points

Not every entry needs to be narrative paragraphs. Sometimes a list works perfectly:

 

Things I'm noticing about you this month:

• You've started telling jokes and laughing before delivering the punchline
• You're suddenly interested in how things are built and constantly ask "how does this work?"
• You've become more protective of your little sister
• You prefer routines and get uncomfortable with unexpected changes
• You've started singing to yourself when you're playing alone

Voice Record, Then Transcribe

Some people express themselves more naturally by speaking. Try recording your thoughts on your phone, then transcribing the most meaningful parts into the journal. This often produces more authentic, conversational entries.

Include Artifacts

Your journal entries can be brief if you include meaningful artifacts:

• A photo with a few sentences of context
• A drawing your child made with your observations
• A ticket stub or program from an event with notes about their reaction
• A leaf from a memorable hike with the story behind it
• A quote of something memorable they said

Use Prompts

If you're truly stuck, writing prompts can provide helpful structure:

• "One thing I wish I could freeze about this age is..."
• "The way your face looks when..."
• "Something you taught me this month..."
• "A challenge you're working to overcome is..."
• "A conversation we had that surprised me..."

Maintaining Momentum

Even with the best intentions, life gets busy. Here are strategies to maintain your journaling practice:

Make It Convenient

Keep your journal somewhere easily accessible—not tucked away in a drawer where you'll forget about it. Some parents keep it on their nightstand, in their desk drawer, or even in their car for those moments when they have unexpected waiting time.

Link It to Existing Habits

Attach your journaling practice to something you already do regularly:

• After you put your child to bed
• During your morning coffee
• While waiting at sports practice
• During your lunch break at work
• As part of your Sunday evening routine

Use Technology Strategically

While the physical journal will be the lasting keepsake, technology can help you collect thoughts to transfer later:

• Keep a running note on your phone with observations to add to the journal
• Set calendar reminders for regular entries or milestone moments
• Email yourself quick notes about things you want to document
• Use voice memos to capture thoughts when you don't have time to write

Forgive Imperfection

Some of the most meaningful journal entries happen after long gaps. Don't abandon the practice because you've been inconsistent. Simply pick up where you left off, perhaps acknowledging the gap and what's happened in the meantime.

Beyond Basic Entries: Growing Your Practice

As you become more comfortable with your journaling practice, consider these ways to deepen its significance:

Theme-Based Entries

Occasionally focus an entire entry on exploring a specific aspect of your child or your relationship:

• Their unique temperament and how it shows up
• A quality you admire in them
• A challenge they're working through
• A particular talent or interest they're developing
• Your hopes for a specific aspect of their future

Letters for Specific Future Moments

Write entries designated for particular future occasions:

• For their 16th or 18th birthday
• For their high school or college graduation
• For when they face a significant disappointment
• For their wedding day
• For when they become a parent themselves

 

Label these clearly so they can be shared at the appropriate time.

Dialogue Entries

As children get older, consider collaborative entries where you both contribute:

• You ask a question, they answer, and you respond
• They share a perspective, and you offer yours
• You both reflect on a shared experience
• Annual interviews where you ask the same questions each year

 

These dialogue entries add another dimension to the journal, capturing your relationship dynamic directly.

The Impact Beyond the Pages

While the finished journal will be a treasured keepsake for your child someday, the practice offers immediate benefits as well:

• It makes you a more attentive observer of your child's development
• It helps you recognize and appreciate their unique qualities
• It provides perspective during challenging parenting phases
• It creates natural opportunities for reflection on your parenting journey
• It strengthens your connection by attuning you more deeply to who they are

 

Perhaps most importantly, it helps ensure that the thoughts many parents think but never express—the deep appreciation, the recognition of unique qualities, the hopes and dreams—don't remain unspoken.

 

Even if you aren't a natural writer, even if you maintain the practice imperfectly, even if your entries are simple and brief—the accumulated message over time is powerful: You were seen. You were known. You were loved. Not just in general terms, but in the specific, unique details that make you who you are.

 

What could be a more valuable gift than that?

 

Ready to start your letters journal journey? Our Letters to My Son/Daughter As I Watch You Grow and Letters to My Little Boy/Girl As I Watch You Grow journals provide beautiful blank pages to preserve your thoughts and memories. Each journal comes with our free downloadable "Ultimate Memory Journal Blueprint" guide to help inspire meaningful letters. Grandparents can also create their own special legacy with our Letters to My Grandchild journal.